


Don't Be Scared, It's Only Love

by GeekLover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Insecurity, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:18:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So he gave his father his kidney, didn't mean Arthur had to like the guy...right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Be Scared, It's Only Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sciencescholar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sciencescholar).



> I hope I included enough of your likes in here and that you're satisfied with the end result.
> 
> Thanks to M for looking this over for me, as well as my friend Cara (frakkin_addict.) Any mistakes after that are mine.
> 
> Title taken from the Lifehouse song, "Falling In."

As Arthur quickly walked through the hospital towards the elevator, he tried to keep his head down as much as possible. To say that Arthur wasn’t a hospital person was a complete understatement. He hated everything about hospitals. He hated the unnatural plastic, overly clean smell. He hated the sight of injured people. He hated the sight of blood. He hated the sounds - the whirring machines, the constant banal overheard small talk in the waiting room, the cries of pain and distress. While he couldn’t do anything about the smell, he’d spent enough time in hospitals to have cultivated a few tricks to avoid seeing or hearing most of the unpleasant sights and sounds. He usually had music blaring in his headphones, refused to make eye contact with anyone, spoke in short, simple sentences whenever he had to take to anyone at the front desk, and kept his head down. Sure, his behavior might have come off as rude, but it worked for Arthur and that was all that mattered to him.

Unfortunately in his rush to get to the hospital that morning, he’d forgotten to charge his iPhone. Thankfully, his sister Morgana had given him all the information he needed, which made it easier to avoid the front desk and cut down on time. It was early morning and the first floor was relatively quiet, so it wasn’t too painful without his usual audio buffer. He made it to the elevator without incident. He pushed the button for the 25th floor. As he settled against the back of the elevator, he sighed in gratitude that he had the elevator to himself. He really couldn’t deal with any useless prattle-

“Hold the door, please!” Arthur heard someone call out. 

Arthur reached down towards his pocket. He remembered that he didn’t have his headphones. Damn. Now he couldn’t pretend to have not heard the shouting young man. Arthur shrugged and looked down again. He was sure the man was too far away to make it anyway.

Just as the elevator was about to close a hand shot in between the two doors and halted the elevators progress. Arthur rolled his eyes as a skinny young man bustled into the elevator. Arthur lowered his head and turned away slightly. He silently hoped that perhaps his elevator companion would crave silence as well.

“I assume you didn’t hear me before.” The man said without sarcasm or anger.

Arthur just grunted a noncommittal noise in response.

There were a few moments of blessed silence. Arthur briefly glanced up and was grateful to see the man wasn’t getting off on the same floor as him.

The man beside Arthur let out a deep sigh. 

“Have you ever been so nervous that you just start to sweat everywhere?” The stranger suddenly blurted out.  
Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. _Do not engage. Do not engage._ Arthur reminded himself. He didn’t want to be rude, but he knew if he opened his mouth he would not have anything polite to say. Apparently, this man couldn’t take a hint.

“And when I say everywhere, I mean _everywhere_. I swear I almost slid off the bed this morning.” He chuckled to himself.

Arthur looked up and was aghast to see they were only on floor six. How bloody slow were these elevators? This was supposed to be a state-of-the-art hospital. 

“I’m sorry I’m babbling a bit. I babble, and sweat, when I’m nervous. I know I volunteered for this, but the idea of surgery frightens me.”

Curious, Arthur looked at the man out of the corner of his eye. The man, who looked not much younger than Arthur, was pale and lanky with a shaggy brown hair and an eye-catching pair of ears. He seemed simple and unassuming. He didn’t really seem the type to go for cosmetic surgery. But Arthur didn’t know the man, nor did he care what brought him here to the hospital. Arthur re-focused his attention on the elevator doors. He willed the elevator to move faster.

“I really hate that you can’t eat before surgery. Eating helps calm me down, but I couldn’t eat this morning or have any coffee-”

 _Thank goodness for small mercies._ Arthur couldn’t imagine how more amped up this jittery mess of a man could be if he had been allowed to ingest copious amounts of caffeine. Oh, God the man was still talking.

“...Plus, I’m really starving. You’re starting to look like a juicy ham to me right now. Except I’m a vegetarian so more like a tofu hamburger.” He took a breath. “My name’s Merlin, by the way.”

Arthur had enough. “Look, Martin-”

“It’s Merlin.”

Arthur ignored his correction. “I really don’t want to be rude, but I really am not in the mood to continue to listen to you prattle on for-” he stopped and looked at the elevator panel - “God in heaven,” he muttered, “10 more floors. I just want to think in peace.”

Merlin looked properly chastened for a moment. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the elevator wall. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a bother. I was trying to think, too.”

Arthur should have let it go, but didn’t. “Funny, most people don’t think with their lips flapping about, talking about a lot of useless rubbish. Most people do it silently.”

“Thanks for the advice. Not at all condescending.”

“I tried to be polite, but unfortunately, you’re not very good at picking up on simple social cues.”

Merlin glared at him. “I told you-

Arthur gave an exaggerated eye roll. “Yes, yes I know. You’re nervous about some cosmetic surgery…” Arthur cocked his head to the side and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “An ear reduction perhaps?”

“I’m not having cosmetic surgery!” Merlin said indignantly.

Arthur put up his hands. “Look, I really don’t care.” He looked to his left. Floor 20. “My father is gravely ill and I don’t have time for this.”

Merlin’s face softened. “I’m sorry.”

Arthur stammered briefly. He was slightly startled by the stranger’s compassion, given how much a prat Arthur had been. “Thank you.”

There was a ding and the elevator doors opened on floor 22. “You’ll be happy to know this is where I get off.” He began to walk off, but turned back suddenly. “Thank you.”

Arthur did a double take. “Are you mentally sound? Why on Earth would you be thanking me?”

Merlin laughed slightly. “You may be a prat, but you were a good distraction.” He smiled and left without another word.

As the elevator doors closed, Arthur sighed. He had to admit, he’d barely had time to feel the fear, confusion, anxiousness that had settled in the pit of his stomach before he arrived on the elevator while going off on the stranger. A good distraction, indeed.

But as he stepped off the elevator, reality settled back in again. He gingerly walked toward his room one. It was a private floor. His sister had insisted on it - only the very best for their father.

As he walked into the room, he could hear his sister yelling at someone over her ever present cellphone. “Just because I am away from the office does not mean you are on vacation. I told you to have the manuscript on my desk yesterday at 6:00 PM. Not this morning at 8:00 AM. Don’t think I’m too distracted not to keep apprised of everything that is going on at my publishing house. It happens again, the next book you’ll be reading is on the unemployment line. Is that clear?”

He didn’t need to hear the person on the other end of the line. When Morgana spoke to you in that tone, you could practically see the frost coming out of her mouth. It even sent shivers down Arthur’s spine. It didn’t surprise Arthur that Morgana was still keeping up with work even with their father sick. She was the best multi-tasker he’d ever seen. 

Arthur steeled himself before he walked into his father’s room. He put on a fake smile. It never fooled Uther, but it made Arthur feel more at ease. The sight of his father in a hospital bed with tubes all over was nothing new. His father had been in and out of the hospital with kidney disease over the last few years. When he had reached end stage renal failure two years ago, he had received a kidney transplant. Arthur had been a match and had willingly given up his kidney. Unfortunately, the disease attacked the transplanted kidney a year ago and Uther had been on the transplant for months. Thankfully, an anonymous donor had been found.

When Morgana saw Arthur, she turned off her cellphone and walked over to Arthur. She gave him a bright smile and a big hug. “It’s about time you made it.”

Arthur hugged back. “Don’t start. I got here as soon as I could. You know I’ve been busy with school.”

Morgana pulled back. “School, partying, getting smashed, shagging anything with two legs, working brain optional.”

Arthur smirked. “You don’t give me enough credit. I don’t sleep with half-wits.”

“I stand corrected.”

Arthur walked around her and stepped towards his father’s side. “How are you, father?”

His father sat up. “Happy to see you and Morgana acting as if nothing has changed.”

“It’s fairly easy. Morgana might be a high and mighty publisher now, but she’s still my bossy, annoying sister.”

Morgana chuckled. “And you’re still my prat of a little brother.”

“That’s the second time today someone’s called me a prat.”

“Only twice? What’s happened to you, Arthur? You’re losing your touch.”

“The level of your wit is truly dizzying, it really is.” Arthur said snarkily before he turned back to his father. “When are they coming to prep you for surgery?”

“It should be in an hour. They have to get Merlin ready first.” His father explained.

“Merlin?” Arthur paused in thought. Why did that name sound familiar? “Who’s Merlin?”

“Father’s donor.” Morgana supplied.

“I thought the donor was anonymous?”

“Yes, you would. That’s what happens when you barely pick up the phone when I call.” Morgana sat down at a chair in the corner and started looking through her briefcase. “Did you really think father would let some unknown stranger’s organ into his body? I hired a private investigator and we found out the donor’s name. Merlin Emrys.” 

Arthur was distracted as Morgana put a file in his hand. Arthur opened it and gasped when he saw the photo and finally put two and two together. “That’s your donor?!”

Uther and Morgana shared a confused look. 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Uther asked.

“Why do you sound so horrified?” Morgana added.

“I just met him. That skinny, pale shaky mess is your donor? How is that possible? Is he even strong enough? He doesn’t look like he has any parts to spare.”

“You’ve met him?” Morgana asked.

“Yes! In the elevator a few minutes ago.”

“Let me guess, he’s the other person who called you a prat?” Arthur shook his head slightly. “You made a bad first impression.” She paused. “No, I can’t even feign surprise.”

“Arthur, please don’t tell me you were rude to Merlin?” Uther said tiredly.

“Well, I didn’t know he was your donor.”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s a perfectly nice young man.”

Arthur looked at Uther in surprise. While Uther had certainly mellowed over the years, he’d never known Uther to speak like that about anyone, let alone a stranger. “A perfectly nice young man?” Arthur repeated. “How do you know him?”

“I had Morgana contact him. He was wary at first, but he was gracious enough to come down and talk with me a few times. He’s very smart and funny.”

“And he’s saving father’s life so you had better apologize the next time you see him.” Morgana interjected in a steely voice.

“Fine.”

“And you need to be more courteous when Merlin is staying at the house.”

“F…”Arthur trailed off and looked over at Morgana slowly. “What house?”

“Father’s house. Where do you think?”

Arthur moved towards Morgana before she even had a chance to blink. “I thought father was staying with you?”

“He is.”

“Then why isn’t this Merlin bloke?”

“He’s not just some _bloke_. He’s father’s-”

“Father’s savior. I know.” Arthur said with a tinge of bitterness.

“Excuse us, father?” Morgana said with a smile. Before grimacing when she turned to Arthur. She took him by the arm and led him just outside their father’s room. She loosened her grip and looked at him kindly. “Arthur, I know that you feel guilty that you weren’t able to save, Father.” Arthur looked away. Morgana held his chin gently and turned him back to look at her. “What you did was incredibly brave and it’s not your fault that it didn’t work out. And it’s not Merlin’s either.”

Arthur sighed. He gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“Father’s right. Merlin is a really good person.”

“Perhaps. He sounded like a bumbling moron. And why again isn’t he staying with you?”

“In case you’ve forgotten Arthur I have a child at home. I have a husband. I have work. I don’t have the time or the space to take care of two sick men. I want to make sure that both Father and Merlin are personally looked after. While you’re here I need you to pick up some of the slack.”

He didn’t feel bad for going to school and living his own life, but he did leave Morgana to take care of everything with their father, which was unfair to her. Still he didn’t feel comfortable with having to not only live with a perfect stranger but look after them as well. “Doesn’t he have any friends or family?”

“His parents are dead. He doesn’t have any siblings. He does have friends. At first, he was planning on staying at his house and his flatmate and best friend Will was going to look after him.”

“Problem solved.” Arthur began to walk off.

Morgana grabbed his arm. “No. I’ve met Will. He’s funny and nice. But I wouldn’t trust the boy to keep a fruit fly alive for an hour.”

“And you trust me?” Arthur smiled at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence at least.” Morgana rolled her eyes. “I suppose it’s not such a hardship. The house is fairly big. I don’t have to see him too often.”

“Arthur, he’s going to be recovering from major surgery. You of all people know what that’s like. You can’t just put him in the East Wing and stay on the other side of the house. He’s going to be staying in the room next to yours.”

Arthur scoffed. “You do realize that I’m not one of your employees. You can’t order me around.”

“I’ve been ordering you around your whole life Arthur. You should realize that by now.” She smirked at him. “I don’t think it’ll be that bad, Arthur. I think this will be better for you than staying so isolated. I think you’ll be surprised by how much you and Merlin have in common.”

Arthur shook his head. “I seriously doubt it.”

~*~

Thankfully, the surgery was a success. Merlin was ready to leave the hospital after two days. Because of Uther’s condition and his prior history, he stayed in the hospital for a few extra days. 

To Arthur’s surprise, when Merlin found out that he was Uther’s son he wasn’t surprise. In fact, he got quite a kick out of it. Will and Morgana helped to bring some of Merlin’s things to the house. To Arthur, Will proved to be twice as annoying as Merlin and even more hostile. Arthur shuddered at the thought when he remembered Will’s promise - more like threat - to visit every day.

Arthur hovered outside Merlin’s room as Merlin got settled in bed. He took a couple of steps inside. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Merlin put a hand to his stomach. “Really, really gassy.”

Arthur snorted. “Yeah, that’s to be expected.”

“I think the last time I was this gassy, I was in sixth form and I had to give this speech in class. I let out the largest-”

Arthur clapped his hands together. “Alright, I think that’s enough sharing for today. If you take your medication that feeling should get better.” Arthur switched gears and got a stern look on his face and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t want to let Merlin get too comfortable before going over some things. “While I am more than appreciative of what you’ve done for my father and am willing to look after while you’re staying here, I would be remiss-”

“Where did you go to school?”

Arthur furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“I’m guessing it was private school? You always sound so formal, as if you’re getting ready to give a speech to the Queen at all times, even in the elevator when you were insulting me. I wasn’t even sure I was being insulted at first, it sounded so nice.”

“Do you have a problem with how I talk?”

“Well, you could dial back the rudeness a little bit.”

Arthur’s head snapped a little. “I barely even said anything. You were the one who rudely interrupted me.”

Merlin grimaced as he sat up a little. “Let me presume to surmise what proclamation you were about to deliver. Did I say that right?” Arthur just glared at him. “You would like it if while I’m staying here, I keep out of your hair as much as possible. You would prefer it if I was seen rather than heard, though you’d prefer it if I wasn’t seen either. And I should refrain from stealing everything that’s not nailed down. Did that cover everything?”

Arthur felt embarrassed that, not only was he so transparent, but hearing Merlin say it he realized how condescending his planned speech would have been. He sighed deeply. “I don’t think you’re a thief, Merlin.”

“But you don’t want me here, either.” Arthur didn’t insult Merlin by denying it. Merlin smiled genuinely at Arthur. “Look, Arthur I don’t blame you. You don’t know me at all and now you have to spend time taking care of me when you’d probably rather be spending time with your father. I didn’t ask to stay here. Your father insisted and I didn’t want to refuse him. I’m not going to be a bother, I promise.”

Arthur stepped fully into the room. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such an arse. I’m sure you won’t be a bother.” Arthur attempted a smile, but he wasn’t sure of how successful it was. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m a bit hungry.”

“I thought you had gas?”

“Yeah, but I’m still hungry.”

This time Arthur’s smile was genuine. “What do you want?”

“Just a regular sandwich would be alright.”

“Anything in particular you’re craving?”

Merlin shrugged. “Hmm….surprise me.”

Arthur looked skeptical. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” Arthur went to leave, but Merlin stopped him.

“Except...do you have any pumpernickel bread?”

Arthur nodded. “That should be no problem.” He walked another few inches.

“And marmite?”

Arthur clenched his hands. He looked over his shoulder. “Sure. Any particular type of cheese?”

Merlin shook his head. “No.”

Arthur took two steps before he was called back again. He took a deep breath and counted to three before he turned around. 

“Can you cut the crusts of?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I'm sorry. I was under the impression you weren't a toddler. Why on Earth would I do that?”

Merlin adjusted his covers. “I just don’t like them. But if it’s too much trouble, you don’t have to bother.”

“No trouble at all.” Arthur lied. He paused. “Anything else?”

Merlin thought for a moment and then shook his head.

Arthur made it to the doorway.

“Oh, wait!”

“Merlin!” Arthur said warningly. He turned back. “You saved my father’s life. I would hate to have to poison you in the same week.”

Merlin grinned. “I just need my pills and some water.”

Arthur trudged over to the bathroom and got Merlin his pills and a small glass of water. He handed them to Merlin. 

As Arthur finally made it out the door he heard Merlin call out “thank you.” He smiled despite himself.

 

~*~

Arthur was not a misanthrope. He didn’t hate people. He loved his family and had friends whose company he enjoyed back at school. But he did prefer to live alone. And perhaps he could be accused of being a perfectionist. He had a particular way that he liked things being done and he didn’t like things that disrupted his way of life. Living with Merlin, however briefly, took a bit of an adjustment. Merlin tried to keep to his word and not be a bother and for the most part he was successful. But there were things that irritated him. Merlin had peculiar eating habits and ate at odd hours. Will kept to his word and was around all the time. He played music far too loudly. Every instinct Arthur had screamed at him to storm over to Merlin’s room and chew him out, but every time he got to his room before he even knocked, he would change his mind. If Merlin’s healing was like Arthur’s post-surgery, Arthur would probably only have to deal with this for another few days. He decided to suck it up and deal with it.

A couple of days after Merlin had been staying at the house, Arthur went over to check on Merlin before he went to bed. He heard what sounded like a cry of pain coming from the room. He rushed in and saw Merlin doubled over. Arthur sped over to Merlin, but before he got close Merlin popped up with a huge smile on his face and his laughter trailed off. Arthur sighed in relief. 

Merlin smile faltered when he looked at Arthur’s face. “Are you alright?”

“That’s what I was going to ask you. I thought you were in pain.” 

A corner of Merlin’s mouth twitched up in a half smile. “You were worried about me?”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I’m supposed to be looking after you. Of course I’m worried.”

“You don’t have to worry. I was just watching television.” Merlin gestured at the large flat screen television in the front of his room.

There was a shot of a few people at the beach. “What this?”

“TOW the Jellyfish.”

“A nature program?”

Merlin snickered, but when he looked at Arthur’s serious face he realized Arthur wasn’t joking. “You’ve never seen _Friends_?”

“I never got around to it.”

Merlin shook his head slowly. “You are not of this world.”

Arthur rolled his eyes heavenward. “Normally, people say that as a compliment.”

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand. “Sit down. You’re going to make time to watch this today.”

Arthur pulled a chair from the corner of the room and sat down next to Merlin. He supposed he had a few minutes.

 

~*~

A few minutes turned into several hours. Arthur wiped tears from his eyes as they got to the end of their fifth episode. “You know he says it a lot, but I think ‘we were on a break’ is a valid argument.”

Merlin chuckled. “I would expect you to say something like that. I’m sure you’ve used that excuse to get out of a relationship or two.”

“Ha! Suppose you’re not so smart after all. I’ve never had a need to use that excuse myself. I’ve never had a relationship that lasted long enough to have need for such an excuse.”

“How long has your relationship been?”

Arthur pursed his lips. “Uh...a week.”

“A week?” Merlin said incredulously.

Arthur smirked. “It was a really great week.”

Merlin sat back and paused the DVD. “I’m surprised. You’re young, you’re rich, and you’re handsome…”

Arthur smiled briefly before he shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not really a relationship person. You might be surprised to know but people tend to think I can be a little…”

“Abrasive. Condescending. Superior.”

“Thanks.” He said sarcastically. “I’ve heard the term ‘emotionally unavailable’ thrown around.” 

“You’re just alone? Do you have any friends?”

“Sure. I have my rugby mates Percival and Elyan. But we’re mates. We don’t talk about _feelings_ and all that rubbish.”

“Do you ever want to change that?”

Arthur took a deep breath and thought about it. He’d honestly never given it much thought. He really did like the way his life was. He liked being free and unattached and being able to have fun and then move on. There were times that he did feel lonely, but it wasn’t enough to make him want to change. He looked over at Merlin and found himself almost admitting that, but hesitated. “I...I don’t know.” He got up and pretended that he needed to stretch. “What about you?” He asked as he picked up Merlin’s DVDs and sent them on the dresser.

“I’m not emotionally closed off.”

“I didn’t mean that?” Arthur said as he walked back over to Merlin. “Have you ever had a relationship?”

Merlin gave Arthur a fond smile. “One. He was a really great mate - Gwaine. He was funny, charming, hair that I wanted to write sonnets about.”

Arthur laughed. “Sounds perfect. Why aren’t you and the hair model still together?”

“I think we were better as friends. He was amazing, but I don’t think relationships were really his thing. You two would probably have been perfect together, as brief as it would have lasted.”

Arthur found himself tucking Merlin’s bedspread around him. There was something about the sudden sad look on Merlin’s face that made Arthur want to reach out to him. “Do you miss him?”

Merlin lay back against his pillow. “I think I miss being in a relationship.”

Merlin’s eyelids started to droop. Arthur tried to back away gently. Merlin reached out and tugged Arthur’s shirt gently. “Arthur, can you sing to me?”

Arthur’s eyes almost fell out of his head. “What?”

Merlin yawned. “It helps me sleep.”

There was no way Arthur was singing to him and yet he started to run over song options in his head. “Can’t I get you some warm milk instead?”

“Sing _Rockabye Baby_.”

“Are you mad? There is no way…”

He trailed off as he saw Merlin’s shoulders started to shake. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep it going. You should see your face.” Merlin said, as he looked up at Arthur with a bright grin.

Arthur growled. “You’re an arse.” Arthur stomped off.

“Does this mean we’re on a break now?” Merlin called after him. 

Arthur waited until he shut the door before he started laughing.

~*~

The doctor recommended that Merlin gradually increase his physical activity to get stronger and recuperate faster. Arthur started taking him for walk around the expansive terrace out back. They talked about a variety of topics. They talked about their favorite hangout spots when they were children. They talked about their favorite hobbies. Arthur was surprised to learn that Merlin had once gone on a weeklong hiking trip in America (“Sorry, you just look like a five minute hike would be too taxing for you”.) Merlin was surprised to find out that Arthur lost his virginity when he was eighteen (“I just figured you’d worked your way through the _Kama Sutra_ backwards and forwards before you reached university”.) It started to become a daily ritual that Arthur looked forward to.

On the third day of their walks they finally got around to talking about school. Merlin wasn’t surprised when Arthur told him he was studying law, but Arthur was surprised by Merlin’s career ambition.

“You want to be a composer?”

Merlin laughed loudly. He was starting to look and sound stronger and stronger every day. “Why does that surprise you?”

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t know. I think of a composer and I think of someone with gray hair and a very stern face. It feels like a very grown-up job.”

“And I’m not a grown up?”

Arthur scrunched up his face. “Eh.”

Merlin punched his shoulder. “I just gave someone a major organ. I would say that was a very adult thing to do.”

Arthur nodded. “That is true.” They stopped walking and sat on a stone bench in front of a little pond. “I’ve been meaning to ask, why did you do that?”

“Help your father?”

“Yes. I know you didn’t do it for the money. But did...did one of your parents die from a kidney disease.” Arthur was startled when Merlin started to laugh.

Merlin covered his mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. But do you really think the only reason I would have down this is because my parents died from the same disease?”

Arthur shrugged uselessly. He didn’t think the question was that silly.

“I guess the reason isn’t that far off. My mother was a nurse. Everyone’s problems always upset her so much. But it was even worse when she would talk about the patients who would languish waiting around on transplant lists. She always wished more people would donate. After she died, I wanted to do something for her and I thought it was the best way of honoring her.”

Arthur shook his head gently. “You know the more and more I get to know you Merlin; the more I realize what a...knob I was to you that first time we met.”

Merlin threw his head back and laughed. “That is very true.”

Arthur smiled.

“How would you like to make it up to me?”

Arthur wrinkled his forehead. “I thought me looking after you was making up for it?”

“Yes, but you could always do more.” 

Arthur grinned and silently gestured for Merlin to continue.

“Your father said you used to dabble with music as well. He said you were a fine piano player. I thought maybe you could help me with this song I’m working on.”

“My father told you that?”

Merlin smiled widely. “You shouldn’t be so surprised. Before the surgery, we talked a lot and he always ended up talking about you. He gushed so enthusiastically about you I thought…” Merlin looked down, and his cheeks reddened.

“You thought what?”

Merlin looked up. “I just really wanted to know you.”

Arthur chuckled nervously. “And then you met me and I was a-”

“Prat?” Merlin smiled and nodded. “But I’m glad to see there’s much more to you than that.” Merlin reached over and squeezed his hand. Arthur slowly entwined their fingers together. Their eyes locked and as Merlin started to lean forward, Arthur felt his heart leap into his throat. This was what he wanted, but somehow it felt wrong. He cleared his throat and abruptly stood up. Merlin almost toppled over, but Arthur caught him and helped him stand up.

“We should get inside. I should get dinner started.”

“Let me?”

“Let you what?”

“Cook.”

“You can do that?” Arthur said skeptically.

“Yes.” Merlin grinned. “I can do it without burning your house down. I promise. I want to do something to say thank you.” He looked down. “I’m getting a lot better and I’ll probably be leaving soon. It might be my last chance to do this for you.”

Arthur felt a stabbing pain in his chest when Merlin mentioned leaving. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

 

~*~

True to his word, Merlin did not burn the house down though the smoke detectors did go off twice. He cooked a vegetable stew, which Arthur called “surprisingly delightful”, and an apple cake for dessert. After dinner, Merlin had played Arthur some of his music which Arthur thought, even unfinished, was lyrical and breathtaking. Merlin wasn’t an expert player, but the music spoke for itself and went straight to his heart. 

“I can’t believe how good that was!” Arthur exclaimed.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended how constantly surprised you are when I do something without screwing it up. I keep telling you I have many talents.”

“That you do.” Arthur said warmly. “And I’m sorry I don’t mean to sound so shocked. But I really mean it. That was brilliant.”

Merlin’s smile lit up the room. They walked over and sat down in front of the television in the drawing room. “How’s your father doing?” Merlin asked.

“Morgana says that Uther has actually been a model patient.” Arthur finished explaining.

“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s always been very calm and gentle around me.”

Arthur smiled. “That’s because you know the calmer, less frightening version of my father.”

“He has a temper?”

“Let’s just say my prattish side doesn’t come from my mother.”

Merlin nodded slowly. “Ah.”

“Morgana’s taking him home with her tomorrow. I’m going to stop by. You’re welcome to come.”

“Thank you for the invitation, but it’s probably better if it’s just family at least for tomorrow.” 

Arthur nodded and fiddled with his fork. 

“But I’m really glad that things are going well.”

Arthur smiled. “The doctors are really optimistic about his prognosis. It’s looking really good.”

Merlin grinned broadly.

Arthur smiled briefly, but his expression darkened.

“What’s wrong?”

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just...they said the same thing last time.”

Merlin leaned forward and squeezed Arthur’s knee. 

“Did you know I was his donor the last time?”

Merlin’s mouth dropped. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Arthur shook his head and bit his lip. “I really thought I was helping. I thought I was going to be a big hero and…”

“Arthur, what you did was heroic. It’s not your fault it didn’t work out.”

“I know.” He stood up and blew out a long breath. “I shouldn’t be making this about me. My father’s the one that’s sick.” His head fell forward.

Merlin walked towards him and soothing stroked his back.

“I feel like I failed him.” Arthur whispered.

“Hey.” Merlin turned Arthur to face him. “You didn’t. I know I don’t know your father that well, but he would be the first one to say that.”

Arthur shook himself and tried not to let the tears fall. “Merlin, I’m really scared that if he rejects this transplant or the disease comes back….that’s it.”

Merlin wrapped Arthur in a tight embrace. Arthur appreciated that Merlin didn’t offer any platitudes, he simply held Arthur as long as he needed. After a while they moved to the couch and Merlin put in another disc of _Friends_. Merlin fell asleep with his head in Arthur’s lap. Arthur found himself absently carding his fingers through Merlin’s hair. He looked down and Merlin had the most serene smile on his face. A thought struck him that somehow simultaneously terrified him and made him happier than he had been in a long time. 

~*~

When Arthur visited Morgana’s home the next day, he was happy to see his father in good spirits. When Arthur arrived Uther was holding his one year old grandson Mordred in his arms. Uther really did look healthier and happier than Arthur had seen him in ages.

“I’m glad to see you looking well father.”

Uther smiled. “I can’t say that I feel completely my old self again, but for the first time in a long time I feel like I’m getting there.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“How is Merlin getting on?” Morgana asked as she played with her son.

“He’s really well. In fact, he’s probably well enough to leave.” Arthur ignored the way his voice cracked at the end of that sentence.

Morgana however did not. She looked up at him suspiciously. “That’s good, right? He’s been there for almost two weeks.”

“I know. It is good. Finally I can get some peace and quiet. He drives me crazy.”

Mordred started to fuss and Morgana stood up and bounced him lightly. “Is that all?”

Arthur shrugged. “What else is there?” Morgana just looked at him expectantly. “Alright, yes you were right he is nice and he’s funny and smart and he actually knows a lot more about classical music than you would think. He wants to be a composer. He played me this unfinished piece of his that’s really quite good. I think…” Arthur trailed off as a slow smile spread across Morgana’s face. “What?”

“You’re arse over tip for him.”

“What?! That is- that is rubbish, that is what that is.” Morgana’s smile only became wider. “Would you stop that? I know you’re supposed to be smiling, but it’s really unsettling.”

“I knew it!”

“What do you mean you knew it?” 

“I knew that you’d see how wonderful Merlin is.”

“He’s a lovely person and we could be great friends-”

Morgana blew a raspberry at that, which Mordred repeated. “I can see it in your face Arthur. You don’t just want to be friends. Why is it so hard to admit he’s perfect for you? Spending time together wasn’t such a bad idea, was it?”

Arthur stared at his sister and a slow realization came to Arthur. “Morgana! Was this some kind of...matchmaking thing?”

Morgana’s smile faded. “No.” She lied badly.

“How are you such a good businesswoman when you lie so terribly?” Arthur rubbed his forehead. 

“If I’m such a bad liar I wouldn’t have been able to trick you into letting Merlin stay with you.” Morgana reasoned. 

“Aha! You admit it!”

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Come on, Arthur you should have known. You’ve seen my house. Of course I had enough room for Merlin. And have you met me? I could take care of father and Merlin without breaking a sweat.”

Arthur sat down heavily on the couch. “Why couldn’t you just be a normal sister and just say ‘I met this guy and I think you’d really like him. Why don’t you go for a drink?’”

“Because my brother is an incredibly thick-headed dolt and he wouldn’t have listened.” She put Mordred down and got him his favorite toy dragon to play with. “Besides this wasn’t my idea, as brilliant as it was.”

“It was mine.” Uther chimed in quietly.

Arthur whirled around to look at his father. “What?”

“Told you.” Morgana said smugly. 

“You set me up?”

Uther nodded.

“With Merlin?”

Uther nodded again.

“Why?”

Uther gestured for Arthur to sit. “When I met Merlin, he reminded me of someone and I couldn’t put my finger on it until he left. He reminded me of your mother.”

“Right. Because they look so alike.” Arthur deadpanned.

Uther shot him a withering look that made him decided to shut up and listen. “Merlin just had that same spark, that mischievous glint in his eye like your mother did. The more I got to know him the more he reminded me of her. He’s smart, funny, musically talented, incredibly patient and kind. I knew if anyone could put up with you, it would be him.”

“Thanks for that.”

Uther chuckled softly. “Do you know what your mother called me after our first meeting?” Arthur shook his head. “‘A supercilious, tiresome prat.’ And I was. But somehow she gave me another chance. She something different in me, another side I don’t think I even knew was there until I met her. I became so much more than that prat she first met. I don’t know how else to describe it.”

“She made you better.” Arthur said knowingly.

Uther nodded.

“I was with Merlin last night and it was-”

“Arthur!” Morgana interrupted. “I’m really happy for you, but I don’t think we need to know the details.”

Arthur looked at her and wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Not like that. We had dinner together and we talked and we watched television. He fell asleep with his head in my lap. It was all so...normal. It felt natural and perfect. I don’t want that for just a week. I think I want it forever.”

Morgana squealed.

Arthur got up quickly and walked over to the mantel. He looked at the pictures of Morgana with her husband Leon and with their son. There were pictures of Arthur and Uther. It made Arthur smile. _Ugh, I’m becoming a soppy marshmallow._ “But it doesn’t make sense. I’ve only known him for two weeks!”

“Sometimes that’s all it takes.” Uther offered. He got up gingerly and walked towards Arthur. “You have to tell him.”

Arthur felt his stomach churning and turned around to face his father. “I can’t.” Morgana opened her mouth to say something but Arthur held up a hand to stop her. “I’m not the type of person Merlin should be with. The last person he was with couldn’t commit and I’ve never been able to commit to anything in my life. I don’t want to hurt him.”

Uther took him by the shoulders. “My son, you many have your faults, but one thing you are not is a coward. Answer one question - do you care about Merlin?”

Arthur put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He looked up at his father. “I think I’m in love with him.”

Uther grabbed Arthur around the neck and squeezed gently. “Then tell him the truth.”

“Just like that?” 

“Yes!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“Tell him the truth and show him how you feel.” Uther provided a little more helpfully.

“Alright. How?” He asked hesitantly. Arthur felt like an idiot for having to ask but this was all new to him.

“When I told your mother I loved, I bought her a diamond ring.”

“That’s probably not going to work with Merlin.” Morgana said. “Is there anything Merlin wants or needs?”

Arthur thought it over for a moment. A slow smile spread across his face. “I think I’ve got it.”

~*~

When Arthur got home, he checked on Merlin. He was glad to see that Merlin was asleep. He was less glad to see that Merlin had begun packing. Arthur looked down at Merlin’s peaceful, sleeping face and became even more inspired than he had been at Morgana’s house. He quietly took Merlin’s sheet music. Even if he had to work all night, he was determined to give Merlin a wonderful surprise.

When Arthur sat down at the piano, he worried that it was going to take a miracle. He hadn’t played in years and had never really written anything before, but Merlin had already done eighty percent of the work. He worked all night with several coffee breaks, admittedly too much coffee. When he was done he was startled to see that sunlight was streaming through the windows. 

He raced up to Merlin’s room and tried to wake him as gently as possible. “Merlin, wake up! He said as he caressed his face. Merlin just snuffled and turned his head, leaving behind a trail of drool. 

Arthur cringed, but shook him by the shoulder a little more forcefully. 

“Leave me alone, Will! I don’t want to play Mario Kart.” Merlin mumbled.

Arthur stood up and gritted his teeth. “Merlin!”

Merlin threw the covers over his head. 

“MERLIN! Get up off your lazy arse right now!” 

Merlin popped straight, the covers fell away from his face slowly. He rubbed at his eyes. “Well, good morning to you, too.”

Arthur was too on edge to participate with any banter. He grabbed Merlin’s hand and brought him downstairs. Merlin didn’t say anything. He was too busy yawning repeatedly and wiping crust from his eyes. Arthur worried or a moment that that they might trip and fall with how hurriedly he was dragging Merlin downstairs, but he couldn’t stop. They were downstairs and he had Merlin seated in the blink of an eye.

He sat down next to Merlin. “I thought I would surprise you. I know that this isn’t perfect. It would probably be better with more time. I’m not the greatest piano player either. And actually I think would be better with some strings. Perhaps I should wait and hire some violin player…”

Merlin put a hand on his shoulder, which stopped Arthur’s incessant foot tapping. He looked around at the different coffee cups strewn atop the piano. “Perhaps we should wait until you come down from your caffeine overdose. I’m sure whatever this is can wait.”

Arthur looked into Merlin’s eyes and tried to steel his nerves. “No, it can’t.” Arthur turned to the piano and after he let out a long, calming breath he began to play. He hoped it sounded like it did in his head. He hoped it came across as beautiful as Merlin’s version did. He hoped that Merlin could tell that how much the music meant to him, how much _he_ meant to Arthur. But he couldn’t look at Merlin to gage his response. He just put his heart and soul into the performance and hoped for the best.

When he was done he closed his eyes for a moment before looking over at Merlin. Merlin had a hand over his mouth and just stared at Arthur for a moment. Arthur could see a huge grin spread behind his fingers, before Merlin dropped his hand. “I don’t...I don’t...even know what to say.”

“Did you not like how I finished it? I didn’t change it too much or make it too flowery.” Arthur babbled nervously. “I could change it in however way you want.”

Merlin grabbed his hand. “Don’t. It’s perfect. I don’t know how, but you did it. It’s exactly how I imagined it in my head.”

The corners of Arthur’s mouth ticked up in a hesitant smile. “Really?”

Merlin nodded slowly. “Really.” He moved in closer to Arthur. “Did you name it?”

Arthur looked down and his cheeks flushed. “I did. But in the morning light, I think it might be embarrassingly trite. I was going for romantic, but I think I missed the mark.” He laughed.

“What is it?”

“TOW I Tell You I Love You.” Arthur cringed inwardly.

Merlin put a hand over his heart and laughed lightly, while tears glistened in his eyes. “I’m not going to lie, but that is cheesy.”

Arthur shook his head and looked away.

Merlin grasped his chin gently and turned Arthur’s face to his. “But it’s perfect.” Merlin leaned forward and pressed his lips to Arthur’s tenderly.

Arthur was so overwhelmed that this was actually happening that it took him a moment to kiss Merlin back. But once he did he caressed Merlin’s lips firmly and deepened the kiss immediately. It exceeded all of his expectations and he lost himself in the feeling and the sound of Merlin’s soft sighs. He smiled against Merlin’s mouth. 

They parted after a few minutes. Merlin stared at him dreamily. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself.

“What is it?” Arthur nipped at his lips gently.

“I was just thinking. Your father has my kidney and now you have my heart.” 

Arthur snickered. “Wow, I don’t feel so bad about that title anymore.”

Merlin swatted his arm. “Arse.”

Arthur chuckled. “I know. But I’m getting better, I think.”

Merlin nodded. “Yes, you’re only part arse now.”

Arthur smiled and pecked Merlin on the lips. He took his hands. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You have some unpacking and then I plan on making love to you all day.”

Merlin grabbed him and kissed him passionately. “To hell with the unpacking.” He laughed and swatted Arthur’s arse before he raced up the stairs.

Arthur laughed and followed closely behind him. He couldn’t help thinking about his father. Arthur didn’t know how, but he would have to find a way to thank his father for the best idea he ever had.


End file.
